Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 1
-2013-
"Brrr." I rubbed my hands together in an attempt to warm up my frozen fingers.
Stepping outside to take the phone call had seemed like a good idea at the time,
but now that I'd done it, I began to wonder why. It was a mere seven degrees
above zero in Duluth, but the wind coming off of Lake Superior made it feel like
it was ten below. By the time I kicked off my boots and slumped down in a
nearby armchair, I'd regained most of the feeling in my hands.
Fat, fluffy flakes of snow fell outside the window, accumulating quickly on the
ground. The forecast called for over a foot of the powdery white stuff, but I'd
learned long ago not to trust Minnesota meteorologists. I always approached the
weather with the same attitude, regardless of their predictions; hope for the
best, prepare for the worst.
"Mr. Cullen?" I looked up and smiled when I saw Bree standing in the door. Of
all the nurses at St. Mary's Hospital, Bree Tanner was my favorite. She was
friendly and attentive, and took the time to get to know her patients. Her
bedside manner was impeccable, and a person could always trust they'd feel like
a human when under her care, as opposed to feeling like a number or a dollar
sign.
"Yes?"
"Dr. Weber would like to speak with you." I nodded and stood, slipping my feet
into the pair of house shoes that Tanya had brought to the hospital for me. Bree
could have led me to Dr. Weber's office, but she didn't need to. I knew the
facility like the back of my hand, and it only took me a minute to navigate to the
doctor's hiding space on the sixth floor.
"Edward." Angela Weber waved me inside, motioning to the empty chair across
from her. I took a seat and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. The
doctor clicked opened a new window on her computer and turned the monitor so
it faced me.
"Another CT scan?" I asked. Angela nodded.
"We did this one last night shortly after you left. As you can see, the subdural
hematoma is completely gone," Angela explained, pointing to the right side of
the image. "The swelling in Bella's brain has subsided, which means that the
craniectomy was successful. All in all, these are very good developments."
I sat back in the chair and rubbed my hands over my face. In the six weeks I'd
been meeting with Dr. Weber, this was by far the best news I'd received yet.
"So what does this mean?" I asked. "What's next?"
Angela took her glasses off and set them down on her desk. "We can start
weaning her off of the barbiturates. As you know from our previous discussions,
this can be quite the process, especially for someone who has been induced and
ventilated for as long as Bella has."
"How long of a process are we talking about?"
"I can't give you a specific answer. Recovery from an injury of this nature is a
gradual process. She could be alert within a few days, or it could take a week or
longer. And there's always the possibility…." Angela's words trailed off as she
looked out her office window. She didn't have to finish her sentence for me to
know where it was headed.
I refused to acknowledge these other possibilities, however. "When will you start
weaning her off?"
"I need to meet with the rest of her neurological team, but I don't see any
reason why we couldn't start today. She'll need to be closely monitored, as the
brain will sometimes start to swell again in the absence of the medication. I
should have more answers for you when you come back tomorrow morning."
Angela stood and rounded her desk, leaning on the front and crossing her
ankles. "You should go home and get some rest tonight. Bella's going to need
you more than ever on this next leg of her journey."
I stood and shoved my hands in my pockets. "Thank you, Angela. I don't even
know what to say."
"Don't thank me." Angela gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's all Bella. She
wants to come home to you as much as you want her here."
I swallowed the tears that were trying to bubble to the surface. I didn't want
Bella home—I needed her there. And now, for the first time in over a month, it
seemed like she would be soon.
I talked to the doctor for a few more minutes, then made my way back down to
my wife's care suite. Outside, the sun was starting to set, and I felt a pang of
guilt at the thought of missing another dinner with our kids. The snow was
coming down harder though, and I didn't want to chance anything by trying to
make the 45-minute commute south to Bruno. I sent a quick text to Tanya,
letting her know I was going to stay at the Radisson and that I'd call when I got
there, then took a seat on the edge of Bella's bed.
"This is it, baby," I whispered, taking her hand in mine. Her skin felt dry, and I
made a mental note to let Bree know she could use some lotion. "You've been
gone for a few weeks, Bells, but now you'll have a light to lead you back. To me,
to the kids, to Charlie … we're all waiting here, Bella, cheering you on and loving
you." I set her hand back down and stood up, brushing her hair off of her
forehead so I could kiss her there. "I know you'll find us, sweetheart. I know
you'll come home when you're good and ready. In the meantime, I love you.
Don't ever forget that."
I gathered my things and bundled myself up, then made the one mile trip over
to the Radisson. Once I was situated in my room, I pulled out my phone and
dialed my oldest daughter's number.
"Hey, Dad."
"Hi, Tan. How is everything going?"
"Good." I could hear Riley and Kate laughing in the background, and the sound
made me smile.
"I got a room at the Radisson for the night. I 'm sorry to leave you high and dry
again, but with the snow moving in I don't want to take any chances."
"It's fine," she reassured me. "You have enough on your plate as it is. Don't
worry about us. If anything comes up, Emmett and Rose are just a phone call
away."
"How are your brother and sister? They're not giving you a hard time, are
they?"
Tanya laughed. "No more than they usually do. Riley wanted me to tell you that
Coach Nelson said he'd be the starting quarterback next year. I guess that's a
big deal or something?"
"That's great!" I beamed, wishing I were there to give my son a hug.
"Kate! Stop! You can't put water in a pan with hot oil!" Tanya sighed. "I gotta
go, Dad. She's trying to cook dinner for us and I don't want her to burn your
house down."
"Thanks again for keeping track of them. I should be back tomorrow night."
"No problem." She was quiet for a minute. "Give Mom a kiss for me?"
"Of course. I love you, sweetie."
"Love you too."
As soon as I was off the phone I changed into my pajamas, pulled the leather
journal out of my bag and climbed into bed. I had access to a wide array of
cable TV channels, but none of that interested me. It was the contents of the
journal that had my attention.
I'd started writing in it the day after Bella's accident. I had no idea what was
going to happen to my wife, or if she'd ever bounce back from the brain injuries
she was left with. I was sitting in the hospital cafeteria with the kids when Kate
had asked how Bella and I met. It dawned on me that we'd never really told
them the story, so I went straight to the gift shop, purchased the journal, and
started chronicling our early years together.
My intent was to have it finished by the time Bella woke up. Then, after she
recovered and was feeling like herself again, we could sit down as a family and
share the story with them. In the event that she didn't wake up, I planned on
giving the journal to Kate and Riley and letting them experience it at their own
pace.
As it turned out, I finished writing in it several nights before, and as I ran my fingers over the smooth cover I started to feel nostalgic. Our life together was anything but easy, and I recalled fighting for our love on more than one occasion. It was a story I enjoyed looking back on, however, and so I opened the journal to the first page and started reading, transporting myself to the late 1980s, when our relationship first began…
-1987-
I met Bella Swan the summer before my senior year of high school. For weeks
everyone in town had been talking about the new family that had just arrived in
Bruno. They were from the Twin Cities and the dad, Charlie, had taken over
ownership of The Bear's Den, our lone bar that kept the town alcoholics
comfortably numb and acted as an off-sale location too. Rumor had it his wife
had up and gone to Los Angeles that winter, leaving him to care for his
renegade teenage daughter. What drove them to Bruno no one knew, but
everyone and their mother had an opinion of them, even if they hadn't met
them. People form the church prayed for them, my mother immediately started
making casseroles for them, and me and my friends … well, we couldn't find it in
us to care much about them.
Our first meeting was more of a fluke than anything. I was at The Junction
gassing up my jeep when I saw her. She was standing next to the newspaper
dispenser with her brown curls blowing wildly around her face and a pair of big,
white sunglasses covering her eyes. She had a cigarette pinched between her
fingers and a bored expression on her face. She was beautiful in an exotic way,
like she had paraded off the pages of some high-end fashion magazine and into
my one-horse town. I couldn't stop staring at her as she brought the cigarette
to her lips and took a long drag off of it. When she turned her head toward me
and slid her glasses down her nose, giving me the stink eye, I knew I'd been
caught. I turned away quickly, cringing when I felt my neck and face warm with
a blush. I could still feel her eyes on me, and I wanted to melt into the
pavement.
I hung the nozzle up as quickly as I could and headed inside to pay, careful not
to look at her as I passed by. Truth be told, I didn't have an ample amount of
experience with the ladies. I'd been on a few dates with some of the girls from
town, but there were never any sparks and I didn't really mind that. School and
my uncle's woodshop were where my attention was focused, and everything
else was kind of an afterthought at that point.
I was on my way back to the jeep when some commotion in the lot caught my
eye. I looked over and saw Bella pressed up against the door of a pickup truck.
Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley stood on either side of her, and I could tell by
the way she had her arms crossed over her chest that they were giving her
unwanted attention. Mike reached out and pulled her sunglasses off, and when
Bella tried to grab them from him he shook his head and held them out of her
reach, then stuffing them in the front pocket of his flannel shirt.
"You'll have to work for these," he said, running the tips of his fingers down her
bare arm. She tried to move away from him, but Crowley was there to stop her.
"Leaving so fast?" he sneered. Bella looked around helplessly, and when her
eyes met mine they filled with relief.
"There you are." She smiled brightly, reclaiming her sunglasses when Mike
looked over his shoulder at me.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Mike moved away from Bella, crossing
his arms and smirking. "You think Eddie the Teddy Cullen is gonna come to your
rescue?"
"I'm with him," she said, sliding under Tyler's arm and running to me. She
slipped her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.
Tyler's eyes widened with shock. "Yeah, right."
It took me a minute to realize what was going on, but when I did, I played right
along with her. "She is," I said, pulling her closer to my side.
Mike laughed. "In town for less than a month and you're already slumming it
with Edward Cullen? Either you're really as easy as they say you are, or you're
just plain desperate." I watched as the color drained from Bella's cheeks. Tears
brimmed her eyes and she looked like she was going to be sick.
The combination of Mike's words and watching her reaction to them ignited
something inside of me. I let go of her hand and stalked toward Newton, pulling
my fist back and punching him square in the nose.
"Ouch!" he cried, staggering backward and grabbing his face. Blood ran over his
lips and down his chin,
"I don't know how your mama raised you, but that's not how I was brought up
to treat a lady." I glanced over my shoulder at Bella, who was now trying to
hold back her laughter, and then at Mike again. He was on his knees now with
Crowley hunched over him. "Stay away from her. Both of you."
Bella was all smiles when I grabbed her hand and led her back to the jeep. I
helped her into the passenger seat before circling the front and jumping in on
the driver's side. I glanced in the rearview just in time to see Mike flip me the
double bird.
"Oh my god, that was incredible!" Bella whooped, clutching her stomach and
releasing a stream of laughter. I had no idea where my impromptu bravery had
come from, but her delight made me smile.
"I've never hit anyone before," I admitted, flexing the fingers of my now sore
hand.
Bella slipped her sunglasses back on and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "You'd
never know."
"Can I have one of those?" I asked, tilting my head in the direction of the
Marlboros. She nodded, taking two from the box and lighting them both at once.
When she handed me one of them, I couldn't help but notice the peach colored
lipstick that stained the filter.
"You're Edward Cullen I take it?" She tilted her head back and took a drag off
her cigarette. She was even more beautiful up close. The white sundress she
wore was a nice offset against her tan skin, and when the sun hit her hair just
right I could see small streaks of red throughout it.
"Yep." I took a drag and slowed the jeep down. "And you must be Bella Swan."
"The one and only." She tilted her head toward me and smiled. "Thanks for
helping me out back there."
"Mike Newton is such an asshole."
"No shit." She tossed her cigarette butt out the side of the jeep and crinkled her
nose in disgust. "He's been on my tail since I moved here. I was stupid enough
to go on one date with him and that opened the floodgates."
I shuddered. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault."
"I know that, but anyone subjected to a date with Mike Newton deserves
condolences."
She looked over at me and laughed—loudly. "Touché."
We drove in silence until we reached the city limits. "Where am I dropping you
off?" I asked. We'd been in the car for less than twenty minutes, but a part of
me didn't want to leave her just yet.
As if she could read my mind, she asked, "Can I show you something?" I
nodded and she pointed in front of us. "Turn off by the Stanley place and park
alongside the tracks."
I did as she instructed, bringing the jeep to a stop at the edge of a dirt road.
Bella climbed out and adjusted her dress, then took off into the woods that
bordered the road. "You coming?" she called over her shoulder.
"Coming where?" I yelled. She kept on walking, and when I could barely see her
through the leaves I took off after her.
We walked for a good ten minutes, ducking here and there to avoid tree
branches, before finally coming to an open clearing. The ground was filled with
hundreds of wildflowers. There were purple ones, red ones, yellow ones, and
blue ones. They bloomed everywhere, and Bella ran to the center of them and
sat down."
"What is this place?" I asked, dropping to the ground beside her.
She shrugged. "It's just a meadow. I found it when I was hiking around one
day. I come out here when I want to be alone, or if I need to think." She fell
back among the flowers, stretching her arms out above her head. I did the
same, closing my eyes against the blinding sun.
"When did you move to town?" I asked. It was a lame question, and in a town
our size everyone already knew the answer, but it sparked up a conversation
that lasted for the rest of the afternoon. Bella told me all kinds of stories about
growing up in Minneapolis and watching as her parents' marriage collapsed
before her eyes. We talked about our likes and dislikes, what we wanted to do
with our lives after we graduated, and where we saw ourselves in ten years.
There were no awkward pauses and no bouts of uncomfortable silence. It was
just she and I, getting to know one another for what we really were.
I was disappointed when she said she had to go. Everything about her intrigued
me, and I'd have been lying if I said I wasn't attracted to her.
"Can I see you again?" I blurted out as I pulled up to her drive. She looked over
at me with an amused expression.
"You can see me whenever you want." She leaned across the center console and
gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, and then she was gone. My heart was racing,
my palms were sweaty, and I couldn't stop the goofy grin from taking over my
face.
As I watched her run up the driveway, I knew one thing:
I was hooked on Bella Swan.
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